AT4W: Dragnet 4

Memorable quotes from episode 238:

Linkara: "The comic is made up of three storylines in the comic strip. We open with Joe Friday's narration."
Friday: *narrating* "It was Thursday, July 16th. It was warm in the city."
Linkara (as Friday): "Due to the warmth, I was going commando in my suit. I did not regret the decision."
Friday: *narrating* "We working General Assignment out of Hollywood Division. My partner is Frank Smith. The boss is Captain Bert Jones. My name's Friday."
Linkara (as Friday): "Born on a Monday."
Linkara: "Joe and Frank are called out to the Hollywood area by a real estate agent. A furnished home he had rented out to two people has been completely cleaned out. One of them was a woman, a Mrs. Gates, who was an actress who mostly played extras in films, and we learn that they had also rented a room out to someone who has also disappeared at the same time they had."
Friday: *narrating* "4:30 PM. We put in a call to Hollywood casting service to see what information they had on Mrs. Gates."
Linkara (as Friday): "It's a good thing that Hollywood only has one casting agency in the entire town."
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Linkara: "Anyway, the woman explains that her mother was right and Koster turned out to be a real bum who walked out on her a few weeks ago. When they show her the rubber glove they found, they reveal that her mother is dead."
Woman: "You say this was found in my mother's grave?"
Linkara (as Friday): "Well, ma'am, you could call it a grave, but then, the headstone is a license plate."
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Linkara: "Joe calls Frank, and they head over to a bowling alley to wait for the guy. They have the citizen deliver the plates, but then follow him to try to get to the larger operation. Unfortunately, they get into a traffic accident and lose him, but fortunately got his license plate down. Running the plate through the DMV, they find his address and name, including that he's already done time for grand theft auto before."
Linkara (as Friday): "Which means that he's already got a two-star rating. Ha! Let's see him try to get his car painted before we intercept him." *beat* "Unless he uses that cheat code to summon a tank."
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Linkara: "Our final tale brings us to the Narcotics Division."
Friday: *narrating* "A young thief had robbed and beaten a citizen while he was under the influence of narcotics. We had to check it out."
Linkara: "Hmm, someone young and taking drugs. Well, I'd call Joe Friday in when the New Teen Titans were investigating drugs, so... might as well return the favor."
*A clip of the Teen Titans anti-drug PSA is shown, with Linkara dubbing over all the footage*
Linkara (as Kid): *to a basketball player* "Hey, Phil! I have heart medication!"
Linkara (as Raven): *appearing* "Poof!"
Linkara (as Cyborg): *smashing through a brick wall* "OH, YEAH! Hey, kids, don't take heart medication, 'cause that's a drug."
Linkara (as Raven): *waving her cape* "I'm the spawn of Satan, and so can you!"
Linkara (as Kid Flash): "Okay, guys, now the YMCA pose!"
*The Titans raises their arms in the air. Cut to a message reading: "Teen Titan Hero Declaration: STAY DRUG FREE"*
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Linkara: "Anyway, they picked up a kid who beat up a drug store owner, but now the kid is going through withdrawal and wants to confess."
Friday: "Can you tell us anything about where you've been getting the "H"?"
Linkara (as kid): "Well, I got my first "H" from a hologram's forehead..."
Linkara: "He gives them the info, but warns them that they'd better take it easy. If the drug dealers realized that they're cops, they'll kill them."
Friday: *narrating* "4:30 PM. We talked with Captain Carl Shy. It was decided that our best chance of breaking up the narcotics ring would be for me to go underground."
Linkara (as Friday): "I wasn't sure exactly how dressing up like a groundhog would help, but anything for the department."
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Boss: "You'd never have gotten me if it hadn't been for him."
Linkara (as the boss): "I would've gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for you nosy drug pushers normally under my command!"