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Deviation Actions
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Memorable quotes from episode 49:
Linkara: "WHYYYYY?!!! Why make a comic about the Kool-Aid Man? Look, I understand "US-1". I understand "Nightcat". I even understand "NFL Superpro". B-But this? It's the fricking Kool-Aid Man!!"
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Linkara: "Inside the snack bar, the Thirsties discuss their sinister plans."
Thirsty: "We Thirsties have done it again! Thanks to us, the small-town sluggers feel totally rotten!"
Linkara (as Thirsty): "Yes, our plans to temporarily inconvenience some grade-schoolers are going swimmingly!" *holds up his fist in victory*
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Linkara: "However, the Thirsties are incapable of outrunning the rotund glass man and are captured. The Kool-Aid Man even ties them up with sausage links. Wow. Anyway, the snack shop reopens, and the kids spot the Kool-Aid Man, and of course, they're not the least bit put off by the giant mascot who talks to them."
Shop Owner: *gesturing toward the kids* "Kool-Aid Man, I'd like you to meet my friends... ...Sigmund Smart..."
Sigmund: "I'm the brains on this team!"
Linkara: "Oh, trust me, there were no brains involved in this crap."
Shop Owner: "...Cynthia Crystal..."
Cynthia: "I can't wait to tell my friends that I met the Kool-Aid Man in person!"
Linkara (as Cynthia): "I'll become even more of a social outcast!"
Shop Owner: "...Mickey Richardson..."
Mickey: "I'll bet you're as strong as the Hulk!"
Linkara: *annoyed* "Yes, Marvel, we get it, you landed the license to this comic. It's not something to be proud of."
Shop Owner: "...and Gloria Greene!"
Gloria: "Far out!"
Linkara (as Gloria): "I'm totally high right now! This doesn't seem weird to me at all!"
Kool-Aid Man: "It's been great meeting all of you! But I've got to get back to my secret headquarters to continue my never-ending battle against the insatiable Thirsties!"
Linkara: *scarcely believing what he's reading* "He has his own secret headquar–" *he struggles to contain in his anger* "The Kool-Aid Man has his own Kool-Aid cave!" *struggles even more, before letting it all out* "THE KOOL-AID MAN HAS HIS OWN... SECRET... HEADQUARTERS!! The Kool-Aid Man invites the kids along to join him in his new Kool Kopter, and they gladly accept as long as they're home for dinner on time. Wow, this situation doesn't have horrible connotations or anything. So it turns out that this, quote-unquote, "secret headquarters" is shaped like a giant pitcher and has a sign out front that says, "Number One Kool-Aid Plaza". You know, I've heard of hiding in plain sight, but I don't think this is what they were thinking."
Kool-Aid Man: "Fasten your seatbelts! We're coming in for a landing!"
Linkara (as Kool-Aid Man): "We're going right through that ceiling! OH, YEAH!!"
Linkara: "So, yeah, the Kool-Aid Man has a high-tech facility, but what's it all for?"
Kool-Aid Man: "I invented all this stuff to help me keep an eye on those pesky Thirsties! They're always trying to spoil everyone's fun and it's my job to stop them!"
Linkara: "So the Thirsties are just an entire society of assholes? What do they get out of this? An alarm comes in, alerting the Kool-Aid Man that the Thirsties are at it again."
Kool-Aid Man: "Those kids worked up a big thirst playing volleyball and now the Thirsties want to spoil their fun!"
Linkara: "So, wait a second, the computer display shows the Thirsties attacking. Does this mean that the Kool-Aid Man has cameras set up all throughout the world, just watching people? Big Brother isn't watching us, the Kool-Aid Man is! The Kool-Aid Man sees you when you're sleeping." *leans forward* "The Kool-Aid Man sees you in your nightmares!"
Linkara: "WHYYYYY?!!! Why make a comic about the Kool-Aid Man? Look, I understand "US-1". I understand "Nightcat". I even understand "NFL Superpro". B-But this? It's the fricking Kool-Aid Man!!"
---------
Linkara: "Inside the snack bar, the Thirsties discuss their sinister plans."
Thirsty: "We Thirsties have done it again! Thanks to us, the small-town sluggers feel totally rotten!"
Linkara (as Thirsty): "Yes, our plans to temporarily inconvenience some grade-schoolers are going swimmingly!" *holds up his fist in victory*
---------
Linkara: "However, the Thirsties are incapable of outrunning the rotund glass man and are captured. The Kool-Aid Man even ties them up with sausage links. Wow. Anyway, the snack shop reopens, and the kids spot the Kool-Aid Man, and of course, they're not the least bit put off by the giant mascot who talks to them."
Shop Owner: *gesturing toward the kids* "Kool-Aid Man, I'd like you to meet my friends... ...Sigmund Smart..."
Sigmund: "I'm the brains on this team!"
Linkara: "Oh, trust me, there were no brains involved in this crap."
Shop Owner: "...Cynthia Crystal..."
Cynthia: "I can't wait to tell my friends that I met the Kool-Aid Man in person!"
Linkara (as Cynthia): "I'll become even more of a social outcast!"
Shop Owner: "...Mickey Richardson..."
Mickey: "I'll bet you're as strong as the Hulk!"
Linkara: *annoyed* "Yes, Marvel, we get it, you landed the license to this comic. It's not something to be proud of."
Shop Owner: "...and Gloria Greene!"
Gloria: "Far out!"
Linkara (as Gloria): "I'm totally high right now! This doesn't seem weird to me at all!"
Kool-Aid Man: "It's been great meeting all of you! But I've got to get back to my secret headquarters to continue my never-ending battle against the insatiable Thirsties!"
Linkara: *scarcely believing what he's reading* "He has his own secret headquar–" *he struggles to contain in his anger* "The Kool-Aid Man has his own Kool-Aid cave!" *struggles even more, before letting it all out* "THE KOOL-AID MAN HAS HIS OWN... SECRET... HEADQUARTERS!! The Kool-Aid Man invites the kids along to join him in his new Kool Kopter, and they gladly accept as long as they're home for dinner on time. Wow, this situation doesn't have horrible connotations or anything. So it turns out that this, quote-unquote, "secret headquarters" is shaped like a giant pitcher and has a sign out front that says, "Number One Kool-Aid Plaza". You know, I've heard of hiding in plain sight, but I don't think this is what they were thinking."
Kool-Aid Man: "Fasten your seatbelts! We're coming in for a landing!"
Linkara (as Kool-Aid Man): "We're going right through that ceiling! OH, YEAH!!"
Linkara: "So, yeah, the Kool-Aid Man has a high-tech facility, but what's it all for?"
Kool-Aid Man: "I invented all this stuff to help me keep an eye on those pesky Thirsties! They're always trying to spoil everyone's fun and it's my job to stop them!"
Linkara: "So the Thirsties are just an entire society of assholes? What do they get out of this? An alarm comes in, alerting the Kool-Aid Man that the Thirsties are at it again."
Kool-Aid Man: "Those kids worked up a big thirst playing volleyball and now the Thirsties want to spoil their fun!"
Linkara: "So, wait a second, the computer display shows the Thirsties attacking. Does this mean that the Kool-Aid Man has cameras set up all throughout the world, just watching people? Big Brother isn't watching us, the Kool-Aid Man is! The Kool-Aid Man sees you when you're sleeping." *leans forward* "The Kool-Aid Man sees you in your nightmares!"